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Old Soccerdude1518
 
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Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#1 @ 12-23-05 , 09:28 PM


hey everyone, just thought i could use some advice. I am 20 and going to be 21 in 2 1/2 weeks. My girlfriend is 19 and will 20 in March. We will have been together for a year in Mid January. I am a senior in college and will graduate in 2007, and she is a junior and will graduate in 2007 as well. ok now my question is should i give her a promise ring or is it just to soon for one? We love each other so much but we do want to take our time with our relationship. But i feel good about giving her a promise ring but as the day gets closer to giving it to her, i am starting to have regrets or i am nervous. We know we wont get married until after college even after graduate school mose likely. The ring i got her is simple and $65. Now after rambling on and on, i really would like to hear if i should or not. Thanks!


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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#2 @ 12-23-05 , 09:44 PM


Only you can know whether you are/aren't ready for a promise ring...what do you take a promise ring to mean and does your GF interpret this gesture in the same way? If both of you are on the same page on this question and you feel like you want to give her a token of your seriousness towards her, then do what feels right in your heart...good luck!

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#3 @ 12-24-05 , 12:06 AM


See, i am very sure we are on the same page but i guess what worries me is my parents thinking i am getting to serious. We love each other very much and to me, the ring means more just a symbol of my love to her, nothing more. I dont want an engangment or a pre-engagement. The ring just means i love her, and it is a symbol.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#4 @ 12-24-05 , 12:18 AM


Then if it's a symbol of your love and your GF understands that, then you don't have to call it a "promise ring." It's just a ring you want to give her because you love her....nothing more....nothing less....

Don't tell anyone it's a promise ring, as that does indicate you're intending to "promise" to your GF a future engagement.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#5 @ 12-24-05 , 12:31 AM


ok, that makes sense, thanks for the help... i guess i can give her a promise ring on our two year Anv. if all is going well, and i would make a more of an effort to buy a better ring.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#6 @ 12-24-05 , 01:43 AM


If you hadn't already gotten the ring, and were asking us if you should give her one, my answer would be no. Rings can be too easily given major significance IMO.
A pendant/necklace, or even a bracelet can be a beautiful statement of love w/o setting off the smoke alarm of commitment. There is absolutely NO abiguity with either of those ..
Maybe consider returning the ring for something else??

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#7 @ 12-24-05 , 04:54 AM


I agree with Irish. Perhaps consider something other than a ring. Now, PLEASE do not take this the wrong way or as a personal jab at you. But, being that I'm 27 (just to clarify that this comment is not coming from say an 80 year old, 'older/grandmother' age), but I always thought a "Promise Ring" was a gesture common in High School, not really college. I know when I was in college, if my friends were dating someone, they usually received a necklace, earrings, etc., and if they got a ring, it was an engagement ring, NOT a promise ring.

I say this, 'cause 10 years ago when I was in High School, my peers would give their "gf/bf" promise rings.

I'm not sure if what I'm trying to say is coming out correctly. It's 4:02 AM and dear hubby is snoring...

But, I'd either make sure your girl knows that this is NOT an engagement ring (so to not scare her parents), and/or give her something else? It seems like you care about her a lot, so why not, if you can see youself w/ her in the future, save up and propose when the time is right?

Again, this is just my $.02.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#8 @ 12-24-05 , 09:23 AM


Yup, Irish is on the mark. I think you could give her the band off of a cigar and there would still be some social attachment to it.

You mentioned that when you think about it, you get a feeling of not wanting to 'regret' it. Regret that you're taking a visible step that advances your relationship in kind of a public way? - or regret over your parents' reaction?

I don't know - your language is telling me to tell you to hold off just a bit. A pair of pretty earrings or a pendant would be a lovely gift from you, and would definitely convey your love for her.

Best of luck. You're a smart guy.


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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#9 @ 12-24-05 , 01:00 PM


I agree with what everyone has told you....with an additional thought....a man who is 21 and a senior in college is of legal age. And an 19 almost 20 year is considered young but still a grown up lady.

I think this is about how you and your lady feel....not your parents.


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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#10 @ 12-24-05 , 02:19 PM


First off i'd like to say thank you to everyone that asnwered my question. After reading all of your replys i have considered getting her a nice necklace with a heart on it that i saw yesterday. So i will be holding off on the ring. and to asnwer to Susi, my g/f and i maybe legal and old enough but trust me, my parents are very protective people and they wouldnt approve, they are very old fashioned. But in any case i have found this forum to be very helpful, and before i post id like to say that all of you are very good people and i really do appreciate your help.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#11 @ 12-24-05 , 03:03 PM


Soccerdude1518,

I hope your girlfriend likes the heart necklace! It sounds really sweet! You're young, so there's no rush... This is a bit random, but my co-worker has been dating this girl for 3 years, and ever year he gives her a ring... (Still no engagement ring), and I got the impression that his girlfriend is hoping he'll take the plundge, but my co-worker said "I'm young and in no rush." And he's 24!

So relax, and enjoy your holiday w/ your girlfriend. In the long run, you gotta do what YOU want. Life's too short to worry about what others think and want for YOU. I know your parents are probably very close to you, and you care about them dearly, but you're about to embark on a new life (college is almost done), and it sounds like your girlfriend will be in that picture as well..

GOOD LUCK

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#12 @ 12-24-05 , 03:26 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccerdude1518
First off i'd like to say thank you to everyone that asnwered my question. After reading all of your replys i have considered getting her a nice necklace with a heart on it that i saw yesterday. So i will be holding off on the ring. and to asnwer to Susi, my g/f and i maybe legal and old enough but trust me, my parents are very protective people and they wouldnt approve, they are very old fashioned. But in any case i have found this forum to be very helpful, and before i post id like to say that all of you are very good people and i really do appreciate your help.


Excellent SD1518! I'm sure she'll love your gift for its beauty and sentiment. As a mother of a 21 year old daughter, I appreciate that you respect your parents' concern for you. Happy Holidays to you and your girlfriend

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#13 @ 12-27-05 , 11:16 AM


hey everyone, just to update you, i got her that necklace i told you about... and gave it to her, and she absolutly loved it!!! Thanks for your advice once again.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#14 @ 12-28-05 , 02:04 PM


You sound like a very thoughtful young man.
My son is about the same age (he'll be 21 in March), and a couple of weeks ago, he gave his girlfriend (who was 19 in October) an engagement ring. I tried to talk him into a promise ring, but it was no-go. They don't plan to marry until at least he graduates, and he's just turned a junior.
I'm glad you found a suitable gift for your girlfriend. It's a lot less complicated without an engagement or a pre-engagement at this point. And since I married at 18, I speak from experience.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#15 @ 12-28-05 , 02:36 PM


Soccerdude I'm glad she loved it. Good luck to you.

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Re: Should i give my Girlfriend a promise Ring??
Quote this post and reply to it Post#16 @ 08-19-08 , 07:29 PM


I came to this page as I have the exact same question, but the reasons are slightly different. I am 25 and my gf is going to turn 21 in a couple of weeks. We've knows each other for a while now (I wanna say more than 5 years) but we have always been just friends. We used to flirt a lot, but both of us thought that the other person was not serious. A couple of years ago, I moved to US (she is in India) and then we lost touch for a little over a year. But I never stopped thinking about her and finally one fine day I decided to talk to her. And that's how we got together. I am flying to India to meet her after 2 years. The thing is, I have not yet formally proposed her to be my girlfriend. I just happened to come to know about promise rings and decided to get one for her and propose her. But my mom is dead against such an idea primarily as my gf's parents might not see it right. I know that this is the girl I am going to marry (and she does too), but at the same time, I dont want to get her into trouble by gifting her something like that, especially when her parents dont know about us yet and they dont know me either.

So, I guess what I am asking is, how do I propose her? What can I gift her when I do that? Thank you in advance .

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