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Old FairyDust
 
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Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#1 @ 09-16-05 , 04:37 PM


I have just recently received a huge door knocker of a diamond ring for an anniversary gift. I did help pick out the center diamond and I designed the setting, but now that it's on my finger it's really over the top. I often just wear a plain band if I'm going to be around family (who doesn't have as much $$$ as hubby and I do) or friends. I know this is silly, but I don't want friends and family to feel uncomfortable. Anyone else feel this way?

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#2 @ 09-16-05 , 04:53 PM


Hello, FairyDust....please, is it too personal to ask the shape & carat weight of your "huge door knocker?" Since we do not know you, I feel the info would be private....however, you may not feel that way.


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I'm OK telling you...
Quote this post and reply to it Post#3 @ 09-16-05 , 04:59 PM


Hi Susi, my ring has a 7.25 RB center stone and side stones of 1 ct each (total ct is 9.29). As you can see this isn't the usual ring you'd see every day. It was a special treat for us to be able to buy this, but now I wonder if it's too big.

I really love diamonds and this is a lifelong dream come true, I just don't want to be viewed as though I'm flaunting it.

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#4 @ 09-16-05 , 05:08 PM


FairyDust, it sounds lovely and certainly not too big, but, rather, perfect!! Of course it's a special treat and if you have pics we would love to see them as that would be a treat for us...or maybe your ring is pictured in another thread??

Please, feel free to wear and enjoy it and talk about it around us


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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#5 @ 09-16-05 , 05:16 PM


Oh yeah...you will fit right in hear. When I first joined DT, I felt the same way about my diamond around friends and family. My ring is no where as big as yours----but like you said, this is a dream come true for you!! Everyone has there "things"! Ours happen to be sparklies. Enjoy!!!~Ronda P.S. We would love to see pics of that beauty and any other beauties you may have!!

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pictures
Quote this post and reply to it Post#6 @ 09-16-05 , 06:39 PM


I do have a digital camera and I'll try to take some pics of my ring. I wear a 6 3/4 so my hand doesn't look out of proportion with the large stone. Look for pics soon.

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#7 @ 09-16-05 , 09:29 PM


I like BIG!! Diamonds, rings, and jewelry that is.




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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#8 @ 09-17-05 , 12:52 AM


That's an interesting question, one I've been asking myself as well! DH and I plan to upgrade to a 3ct stone (more or less) early next year and I often wonder how comfortable I will be wearing it in front of friends or family who either don't have the means for luxury items or who are too frugal to indulge. I've even considered telling them that the stone is just a very good fake in order to head off any criticism/envy. I don't care if everyone thinks it's fake...as long as I know it's genuine and I'm deriving lots of enjoyment from it, then all is well.

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#9 @ 09-17-05 , 03:39 AM


FairyDust, my fingers are long and pretty pinny too, I'd LOVE to be able to carry off a magnificent piece like yours! (much less be able to afford it ) We'll only be too happy for you to show that baby off to us!! Can't wait for piccies!

Webgal... loved that roadkill remark, you crack me so consistently up :P


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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#10 @ 09-17-05 , 07:14 PM


FairyDust, I initially was somewhat hesitant to show off my 3.10 carat Princess ER. This is a recent update from my 1.05 ER. But after reading posts from fellow members, I'm now starting to experience "diamond shrinkage", so now the diamond doesn't seem as "large" (I hope this doesn't sound snobby because I realize 3.10 is not exactly small). So now, I guess I'm imune to my ring's size, and I don't think about it anymore.

I do get a lot of stares when I go out shopping. My husband and friends say this might be because you don't see many 27 year olds with a ring that size; most of my friends have .75 or smaller. Maybe the stares are because my hubby is adorable?

Anyway, my husband recently got promoted, and was able to upgrade. I wear it proudly, but I do understand and can sympathize with you. My relatives will definately be amazed by the size of my new ring, but I can't help but wonder if they will look down upon our recent purchase (Especially when I know they have financal struggles).

By the way, any pics of your "door knocker?"

PS, this is my first post, so I hope I did it correctly

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#11 @ 09-17-05 , 09:12 PM


I feel the same way most of the time as well. I will often not wear my e-ring depending on where I'm going. I'll just wear a diamond band. I have a 2 ct asscher halo and it does take up alot of space on the hand.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#12 @ 09-17-05 , 09:22 PM


Hi, Fairydust! Your ring sounds fabulous, and I think you should wear it and enjoy it...guilt free!

I inherited a big diamond from my mother, and at first I was a little self-conscious wearing it...but I got over it. It feels like part of me now.

The only time I hide it (swing it around on my finger) is when I'm alone in an iffy neighborhood and am worried about getting mugged!

Like everyone else...I'd LOVE to see your treasure. Guaranteed: Everyone will heartily approve!!

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#13 @ 09-17-05 , 10:37 PM


Sapphire Lover, your Asscher is beautiful! I like how the setting makes the diamond glow

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#14 @ 09-18-05 , 09:03 AM


FairyDust

HI and congrats on your upgrade. As I've stated in another thread, my mother in law has started making comments to my hubby about the 3 stone ring he got me and mine is only 3.5 carats (I know that's big, I'm not poo-pooing 3.5 carats, but I'm saying in comparison to 9.3 carats). Things like how materialistic I've become and how I'm wasting money that should be spent on my children. I won't even get this ring until October.

Anyway, when I first found out she was saying things to my hubby, I was so hurt. I even thought about not wearing my new ring in fornt of her when I get it. But now through great support from everyone here at DT (not to mention how great my darling hubby has been), I'll wear it with pride and without hesitation.

Please post pix asap. Dying to see it!!! And you too should wear your beauty with pride too!!!

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#15 @ 09-18-05 , 09:11 AM


My MIL is similiar. She never sais anything (she's a sweetie), but she just doesn't get what is is to be obsessed with jewels.She hasn't taken her rings off in years, she's missing 2 stones from her set and it's so dirty I was cringing when I looked at it the other day. I told her to take it to a jeweler and have it cleaned and repaired. Hopefully she will. I would just ignore her comments and wear the ring around her all the time. She'll move on to other complaints soon enough and will get used to seeing it.

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#16 @ 09-18-05 , 12:31 PM


Most of the time my mil is ok and she's a wonderful Grandma, but is very opinionated and has no qualms about telling every one her views, even if it hurts. I'll wear the ring in front of her, but certainly won't "show it off".

Sapphirelover, totally love your ring. Hope to have 2-3 carat asscher someday.

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#17 @ 09-18-05 , 02:00 PM


Oh my gosh. I'm DYING for a picture of this beauty! Please post ASAP!

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#18 @ 09-18-05 , 08:39 PM


Hey everyone,

i was in a similar situation when my partner gave me a promise ring for my birthday a year ago. it was nothing special cause i am planning on a wopper of an ER. but i was a bit hesitant showing my partners sister-in-law the ring,

my ring - Chanel Set 5 stone totalling .80ct

her ER - probably just a tad bigger than 1 on my 5 stones in my ring.

So you can probably understand why i was a bit reluctant wanting show them when they asked to see it. I could just imagine what was going through her head.

After time i got used to the fact i am going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life, and i was proud to wear it around her, my partner has his cars he does up and i have my diamonds and jewellery. hehe!!

My parter's side isn't as wealthy as my side so a lot of his realitives won't justify why i need such a large diamond ER. My partner has worked hard to get where he is and likes to spoil both him and myself and his parents!!

I guess what i'm trying to say is i wouldn't get all worked up about it and not wear your gorgeous ring!! In your group of friends your ring probably fits in, i'm sure if your family members had the money like you and your husband they'll be wearing big diamonds too.

and i can't wait to see pics of yours!!!!

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Re: I'm OK telling you...
Quote this post and reply to it Post#19 @ 09-19-05 , 08:31 AM


Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyDust
I really love diamonds and this is a lifelong dream come true, I just don't want to be viewed as though I'm flaunting it.



But . . . you *are* flaunting it. In much the same way a person would buy a Louis Vuitton bag or a pair of name-brand shoes or a Vera Wang wedding gown. No one wears a diamond of any size without a part of them wanting others to notice it and form some sort of opinion about it and them. If no one believes that, well, I'd say you're not being totally honest with yourself. As for a 7.25 carat diamond . . . well, you could have bought a 7.25 CZ if flaunting wasn't the goal on some small, minute level. But a 7.25 CZ doesn't mean as much as a 7.25 *diamond*, so you got the latter. Nothing wrong with that AT ALL. But there's definitely a level of flaunting. If you didn't want to flaunt, you'd have gotten a ring the same size as what was "normal" for your family and your area. There is a part of all of us, however, that wants to stand out, be different, and get noticed. Yep. That's where flaunting comes into play.

There's nothing wrong with flaunting something. If you work hard for it, if it's something you can afford without putting your family's needs at risk, then buy it and flaunt it! But don't buy it and then not want to be seen as a flaunter. There's nothing wrong with having things that are nice. Other people's reactions to your ring are THEIR problems. Wear it and flaunt away!

And I say this as a person whose e-ring is only 1/2 carat center stone, with 1/2 carats in side stones. I still flaunt my ring (it's the biggest of all my friends' rings save for one, and mine is definitely the nicer cut/ sparklier of all of them), because it's beautiful and I like flaunting pretty things. I keep it clean, I always am waving my hands about when I talk, and when someone grabs my hand and says how beautiful the ring is, I smile inside as they ooh and aah. Yep, I'm a flaunter (granted, I'm a flaunter who also will never upgrade, but that leaves so much more $$ for the ruby of my dreams . . . <sigh> . . .) . So be it.

--Heather

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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#20 @ 09-19-05 , 08:55 AM


....I feel many people have, in their minds/hearts, a size/shape diamond that they feel is *perfect* for them and one they feel very comfortable with. Like it "fits" them and blends with their personality.

They put it on and wear it, love it, look at it, and it becomes part of them. A friend of mine has a half carat round and this, to her, is perfect. ( and it's lovely!!) Anything larger, she says would not "fit her." She has the means...that's not a concern. It's just not *her*

For me, THE size/weight/shape is a 1ct to 2ct round, very white and clear and well cut.

I feel at home with this size/shape/quality stone as I would with a pair of jeans and crisp white or flannel shirt and quality handbag. These type clothes and size diamonds are *me*

I also own a larger stone ....and it's not really me....it has nothing to do with money or status, as I AM old enough and am in a position in life to wear it....but it just doesn't fit me as well as my smaller stones.

All that said, my "theory" is, if the stone *fits* you, if you feel very comfortable with it's quality, shape and size/weight.....then it's not flaunting.

But if a person puts on a piece of jewelry to "impress" ( nothing wrong with that either, in my opinion ) it can be considered flaunting....and again....that's ok....as far as I'm concerned....it doesn't both *me* but it can bother others.

Attitude and confidence play a big part too...on the part of the wearer....and on the part of those whose reactions seem to concern us so much.


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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#21 @ 09-19-05 , 05:09 PM


I agree with Heller and susi. Be proud of what you have! It sounds wonderful, and I WANT PICTURES!!!!


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Another comment re. flaunting
Quote this post and reply to it Post#22 @ 09-19-05 , 07:36 PM


One thing that I forgot to say is that, with my extended family, I've had to deal with a lot of guilting from family members. Not because I've done anything bad with my life, but because I <gasp!> went to college and got a master's degree. I also come from a family where if you don't get married and procreate, you're defective (DH and I are married, but won't be having kids), and where every time I mention work (which requires a degree) or traveling (DH and I take one trip a year-- generally to a budget hotel in Mexico, so we're not extravagant travelers by ANY stretch of the imagination), I'm treated badly by family because I have things that they don't have. For a while, I was apologetic about my successes. But even when downplaying myself or being apologetic, there was always this air of disapproval because everything wasn't what *they* had.

I've finally gotten to the point of, "screw it". My life is mine, and I work hard for everything. So if you love your ring, original poster, wear it proudly. It's only the truly insecure who will be threatened by it, and others who love you will be happy at your success. I have a coworker who has a two-carat rock that is far, FAR beyond what I will ever have, and you know what? I think it's wonderful that she has it! Just because it's not mine doesn't mean I can't admire it from afar. :-)

--Heather

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Re: I'm OK telling you...
Quote this post and reply to it Post#23 @ 09-19-05 , 07:38 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by Heller
No one wears a diamond of any size without a part of them wanting others to notice it and form some sort of opinion about it and them. If no one believes that, well, I'd say you're not being totally honest with yourself.


--Heather


I'm sorry but I beg to disagree. To say that everyone "flaunts" their diamonds is not an accurate statement. I can only speak for myself but I can HONESTLY say that I do not wear my diamond to impress ANYBODY! I wear them because I am truly a diamond lover and I love to see them sparkling on my hands, ears, wrists and neck. I adore diamonds of ALL sizes but it's what is in MY eyes that matter, not what other people think. As a matter of fact, when someone does notice my diamond I first say thank you and then play it down. I'm not looking for attention nor do I want it. I don't think there is anything wrong with flaunting diamonds or anything else for that matter...if you have it than go for it but that's just not me. When I upgrade my diamond, I'm not doing it to have the 'biggest' diamond amongst friends. That doesn't even cross my mind. I do it because *I* want to see a larger stone on *MY* finger blinding me when I drive! I really don't care what other people think (except DTers of course! ) They don't understand my passion for all that sparkles and they probably never will. Look, I've been bashed a few times on another board stating that my jewelry is fake. Hey, to each his own. I am not here to impress anyone. I am simply sharing my collection with others who happen to share the same love of diamonds. If they choose to believe something other than what I've stated than so be it. It's not that big of a deal.

Anyways, I'm sorry to go on and on. I only wanted to express my opinion regarding whether everyone flaunts their diamonds. Please don't take it the wrong way Heather, I just don't think that it holds true for everyone but that's just my humble opinion and what do I know?!


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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#24 @ 09-19-05 , 07:53 PM


FairyDust, I don't think you should worry too much about wearing your ring. It's YOUR dream come true! If it really bothers you than just wear your band but if you really WANT to wear it then wear it. You need to do whatever makes you comfortable. I don't think that it should make your family and friends uncomfortable. Especially family and friends! If they have an opinion about it at all, I think they should be happy for you. Why not?! You're happy, right? Just as I'm sure you would be happy for them in a reverse situation. I say do what ever makes you most comfortable.

BTW....Please, please, please can we see some pictures????? I'm dying to see this beauty!


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Re: Anyone hide their ring because it's too big?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#25 @ 09-19-05 , 08:34 PM


Beautiful rings! On the first hand WebGal posted, the middle one (princess with trilliants) is my e-ring on steroids. LOL. ;-)

--Heather

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