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How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#1 @ 05-04-05 , 11:29 AM


Is there a proper etiquette to follow in doing this? or is it pretty straight forward? I just wanted to drive down to her parent's house one night, roll up, knock, say "hi, can i marry your daughter?" But my mom says there is proper etiquette you have to follow. Well is there? or not? Can i be to the point about it? was just wondering.......gotta do it in the next couple of days......


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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#2 @ 05-04-05 , 01:10 PM


Fedex there is no etiquette about this at all. As a matter of fact, many people would say your idea is old-fashioned, outdated, and totally unnecessary. Are you doing this because you think you have to, or because you want to?
Personally I think it's a cool thing to do especially if she's close with her parents....The only thing you should consider, regarding your plan, is catching them off guard if they don't like surprises--showing up unexpectedly might not go over too well...
Good luck and congratulations...

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#3 @ 05-04-05 , 01:17 PM


yea, she is old fashioned, and asked that i did this out of respect when the time came.

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#4 @ 05-04-05 , 03:03 PM


OMG! I stand wreaked by all that Southern protocol!!! I'm a native California Gal, and although I did the cotillion "thang", 30 years ago, I was the one wearing boys hightop Converse under my formal....but hey, they had rhinestones and sequins glued to them !!!

Sorry if I gave the impression that this is a casual exercise..it isn't. But I think you have to make it your own unique experience--decide what you're comfortable doing on balance with what their expectations are for this "moment". If you have a good relationship with her father already, obscure formality may not be necessary....but only you know that...

So chop chop, Call Already!!!.... let us know how it goes... and whatever you do in making this your own experience, I don't recommend you wear sequined high tops for this occasion..

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#5 @ 05-04-05 , 05:09 PM


3 forks?? Absolutely!!! One is for eating your salad, one is for eating olives, and the last one is for flingling "said olives" across the table at your irritating cousin or pain-in-the-butt sibling..........BULLSEYE !!!


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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#6 @ 05-05-05 , 06:49 AM


It would seem to me that any father would want to hear that you intend to treat his daughter with love and respect. Those two qualities are often missing in people's dealings with spouses or intendeds.

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#7 @ 05-05-05 , 11:50 AM


well, i just went and picked up the ring, im so nervous carrying this thing around, i dont know where to put it and hide it. Im planning on driving 3 hours tonite after work down to her parents house, and surprising them to ask them if i can marry their daughter, then driving back. Hopefully ill get a yes

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#8 @ 05-05-05 , 12:11 PM


Oh, FEDEX....this is so exciting!!! Now that you've got us all hooked..you ABSOLUTELY MUST check back with us and let us know how it went!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by FEDEX
Im planning on driving 3 hours tonite after work...and surprising them to ask them if i can marry their daughter...

Gosh...don't you think you should call first to be sure they're home????

Can't wait to hear how it goes

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#9 @ 05-05-05 , 12:13 PM


Fedex,
I sure hope that they at least know that you're going to show up there. It'd be a shame if they weren't home.
Webgal wrote, "He may want to know what you find special about his daughter and of course, you know he doesn't want to hear that she has a "great rack"." This one got me laughing all day yesterday. Just for kicks you could try the "great rack" line on him and see what happens, sure to break the ice....or something !
Best of luck to you and don't sweat it, I've never actually heard of anyone saying no, but they probably will give you a big, three way HUG. Be prepared !


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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#10 @ 05-05-05 , 12:15 PM


well, her mom is a teacher, so i know she is there this week, just called the school, and her dad has a huge project this week, so i know he should be there too.......Im not gonna beat around the bush either, will knock, say hi, can i come in, apologize for the late arrival out of no where, then say, "Mr. Brown, may I marry your daughter?" and leave it at that

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#11 @ 05-05-05 , 12:17 PM


should i hide the ring here at our place or take it with me? is it wrong to show the parents the ring before my g/f gets it?

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#12 @ 05-05-05 , 12:18 PM


If I could have edited my post (hint hint) I would have said: "Shouldn't you call first to be sure they're home, and not in their pajamas??

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#13 @ 05-05-05 , 12:25 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by FEDEX
should i hide the ring here at our place or take it with me? is it wrong to show the parents the ring before my g/f gets it?


I don't know how your girlfriend would feel about that (can you make a pretty good guess?) but I imagine your future inlaws would enjoy seeing it and being in on the surprise...

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#14 @ 05-05-05 , 12:30 PM


I've had some clients show the ring and I thought that was quite nice. I hope he says yes. I had one client recently that asked the and the future father in law said he didn't think the time was right.... he is still waiting and has the ring and all. Been waiting since Christmas.


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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#15 @ 05-05-05 , 02:12 PM


oh my gosh, i cannot wait, i cannot wait, it's like as soon as i got it i cant wait to see her and ask her. Problem is, I wasnt planning on asking her until next saturday night at a romantic dinner, thats over a week away and i cant wait that long!

Oh my, she is leaving town saturday morning to go see her parents and family for the weekend and wont be back until early next week, the last time i will see her before she leaves is Saturday morning......ive gotta propose then, i cant keep this up, im gonna blow if i dont give it to her soon.......

Any ideas for an early saturday morning proposal? It's time for plan B on the proposal, she has two dogs that she thinks the world of that she is taking with her, anyway to incorporate them into it by chance?

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#16 @ 05-05-05 , 02:13 PM


here is why i cant wait or one reason. She is expecting a .9 ct I/SI2 diamond, and I got her a 1.6 ct LEO diamond, G/VS1. she is gonna be floored!

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#17 @ 05-05-05 , 02:22 PM


I thought about maybe tying the ring onto the back of one of the dogs, and asking if they needed to be taken out right before she left and she would see it when trying to put their collars on.

But im so excited I might just go down on one knee in the middle of the living room unexpectedly......

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#18 @ 05-05-05 , 02:53 PM


I've got the same thing coming up...

I've read that it's best NOT to show the ring, because it's "her" ring, so she gets to do the showing.

I'm a bit stuck on the "asking the dad for permission" thing myself -- my girlfriend's parents are 400 miles out of town (it's not like I pop over for a few minutes). Which means either I call, or try to grab a moment when they're in town.

My girlfriend also says they're traditional in that regard...but I wouldn't normally ask the dad, myself. It's not out of disrespect, but it's for the same reason that I don't send her dad a Valentine's Day card. As a child of divorced parents, I always believed in the idea that my girlfriend's feelings are 100% of what's important and it's a romantic event between the two of us. That said, since a woman's parents traditionally pay for the wedding, it seems like the least I could do to show them some respect.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#19 @ 05-05-05 , 05:53 PM


I recently visited someone who had a dog...notice the word "had". When the door opened, out went the dog....goodbye dog. How would you like to put the ring on the dog and have THAT happen? Not a good idea.
How about doing a treasure hunt type thing? Buy some really pretty white ribbon with fancy edges. Tie one end to the ring and place it around the neck of a stuffed animal (she will treasure the animal forever). Run the rest of the ribbon through the house and tape it to a spot on the floor. Take her to that spot and tell her you have something to ask. Point to the floor....she will go wild!!
You will have one ecstatic lady and she will have one story to tell the world forever after.
Good luck to you both!!

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#20 @ 05-06-05 , 09:27 AM


Hell, I gave FedEx Karma Points to help alleviate his angst.


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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#21 @ 05-06-05 , 09:31 AM


Yogi...I need karma points to alleviate MY angst!! I hope he checks back soon to let us know how it went...

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#22 @ 05-06-05 , 11:01 AM


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOO
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!


He said Yes and she said Yes!!

Wow, what a night. I left work at 8:45pm last night, drove all the way down to her parents, as I drove up, the place was dark and I just knew they werent there. As I walked up all the lights came on and it was her dad standing in the door! (was nervous, really nervous) He asked what i was doing there, I said I was there to "ask him a question" and right then he knew what it was, and asked me to come on back into the den to sit down and talk. Well, we ended up talking for 30 mins, he asked all kinds of questions, about my finances, my commitment to his daughter, everything you could think of, and he kept saying, "well, she is my little princess."

Anyway, after that discussion, he said yes, and went and got her mother. She came in and we talked about another 30 mins, she was all teary-eyed and happy and couldnt hardly talk. They then told me I had better get back to propose if I was going to do it tonite, so i left and drove 3 hours back to my g/f's place.

I got there around 1:15 am, she was in bed, and got to talk to me. I acted normal, we talked for 20 mins, then said it was late and she had to go to bed. I said sure, let me just take the dogs out, and ill then tuck you in and leave (like normal) Well, I went outside, and pin'ed the ring onto her dog's burberry collar. I then walked in and went into her bedroom and asked her what this growth was on her dog's neck. She sounded concerned, sat up, took her dog and started feeling around, and right as she realized what it was I went down on one knee and asked her. She was FLOORED!!!! She was COMPLETELY caught by surprise, didnt see it coming and she said YES!!!! Wow she loves it!

She was so excited she couldnt sleep last night, she didnt go to bed until around 5:30am, and we even went up to Wal-Mart at 3am so she could buy those Wedding and Bride magazines which i thought was funny.

Anyway, thanks to everyone of you, it was nerveracking at times, but am so glad i did it the way i did it and appreciate everyone's help and support. Wow, im so happy I cant even type!

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#23 @ 05-06-05 , 11:39 AM


Well FedEx Congratulations on a job well done!!

WHOOOOOORAAAAAHHHH!!
SHE SAID YES!!!

Welcome to future food flings with the good silver

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#24 @ 05-06-05 , 11:50 AM


HOORAY!!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!

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Re: How do you ask her dad for his daughter's hand in marriage?
Quote this post and reply to it Post#25 @ 05-06-05 , 11:50 AM


well, im poor again after buying that ring, but it was worth every penny, man this is an amazing feeling She is taking off work right now, she said she is soooo excited she cant even work

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