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| HOME : FORUM : COMMUNITY : Wedding Talk : About Weddings : Can U Top This? |
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Post#1 @
06-23-03
, 06:05 PM
Taken from "Dear Abby": DEAR ABBY: I'm enclosing a wedding announcement my family and I received yesterday. My family and I are shocked and appalled. It reads: "Dear Family: I am asking for your cooperation and understanding. My wedding will be very costly, and this has caused me to make some unpleasant decisions. "I hope you will see this as a request for a donation and not a charge for you to attend my wedding. I cannot figure out any way other than to ask each guest to contribute to the cost. If anyone is insulted by my request, I am sincerely sorry. "Your $330 contribution must be received on or before June 30. Only postal money orders will be accepted. Please purchase it only from a U.S. post office. Thank you for your contribution." My question is, how should this "invitation" be handled? We don't have this kind of money. Should we tell the bride-to-be what bad manners this is? -- APPALLED IN OHIO  Is that GALL?
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Post#2 @
06-23-03
, 06:16 PM
Yogimel, Sounds like she not only had gall but balls as well.Are you going Yogimel ? kk
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Post#3 @
06-23-03
, 06:18 PM
LOL!!! Does she wants "gifts" on top of that? |
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Post#4 @
06-23-03
, 06:26 PM
I thought it was going to be signed by one of those Nigeria letter writers... |
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Post#5 @
06-23-03
, 09:36 PM
Holy Mother of Jesus! 
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Post#6 @
06-23-03
, 11:30 PM
And what did Abby have to say? 
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Post#7 @
06-24-03
, 09:29 AM
It's hard to believe that is even "real." I'm embarrassed for the person who sent that out- Balls 'n All!! |
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Abby's reply:
Post#8 @
06-24-03
, 11:04 AM
"DEAR APPALLED: No. Please allow me to do it for you. What you received is not an invitation. It is a solicitation. Not only is it tacky; it is unbelievably insulting. When a couple marries, all monetary contributions should be voluntary. To specify that the "gift" be paid via money order implies that there might be insufficient funds to cash the check. If I received such an "invitation," I would not send a money order. I would send my regrets. I recommend that you do the same." |
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Post#9 @
06-24-03
, 11:24 AM
OH MY... that is so TACKY!!
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Post#10 @
06-24-03
, 11:54 AM
That is tacky and rude! I think I would have sent them Monopoly money!
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Post#11 @
06-24-03
, 12:53 PM
I read that in Abby too. I was absolutely disgusted!!!! I always follow the Miss Manners way, which is that guests aren't even required/expected to bring gifts, except if they choose to. |
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Yes!
Post#12 @
06-24-03
, 01:02 PM
Miss Manners ROCKS....  |
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Last edited by yogimel : 06-24-03 at 01:05 PM.
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Post#13 @
06-24-03
, 09:26 PM
Well that beats all...thanks for posting Yogi! *Shaking head in disbelief* |
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Post#14 @
06-24-03
, 11:19 PM
Wow. Does she take cashier's checks too, or just money orders? ... |
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Post#15 @
06-25-03
, 12:34 AM
I wonder what kind of dinner and entertainment they will be having at $330 a head. Couldn't I get pretty decent seats at a concert or sporting event for that price? I think I would want to charge that bride for wasting my precious time in reading *that* kind of invitation. How does $100 per minute wasted sound? 
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Oh My Gosh!
Post#16 @
06-25-03
, 04:19 PM
I just shaw this post! I can't imagine getting that kind of "invitation" in the mail, let alone, sending one! Obviously, this girl hasn't checked into reality lately! I know how easy it could be to get caught up into all the hype and glory of an elite wedding, but come on! You got to be able to live within your means! I would be so embarassed for her family, can you imagine the horror on her parents faces! Geesh! I still can't believe someone would do that! Well, Have a wonderful day, Joy |
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Post#17 @
07-05-03
, 01:53 PM
How horrible!! I just can't believe it. |
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Post#18 @
07-11-03
, 03:17 AM
Hey, I know I'm a little late, but that touched a chord. Over here in the European country I'm in - I'm hesitating to name the name here, but I have elsewhere, in a way that's kind of normal when a baby's born. They send out cards to announce the arrival to everyone - not just friends. Fine so far, the cards are usually really cute and not mass designed, really artistic sometimes. But.... inside the card, going out to everybody you know, is a bank account number where peapole are expected to deposit some cash for the kid. Personally I find that weird. And we just had a wedding invitation from one of my SO's colleagues he doesn't really know. In it they wrote, translation: "We have all we really need already after having lived under one roof for so long. But we do have some big dreams and you could help those to come true by depositing some money at the following account." Wow!!! We were shocked. One other little thing, in another country I've lived in, they pin bank notes on the bride as she comes out of the church. Trick is to get your dress covered in cash and sometimes, it was explained to me, they buy bigger trains to give more surface area. I kid you not
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Speaking of wedding customs...
Post#19 @
07-11-03
, 08:04 AM
In the NJ/NY area, the 'gift table' is an unknown. When we were wed, we got exactly one gift...from a woman who lived in Annapolis, Md. and didn't know the local customs. Folks do give money for weddings. I think this 'custom' started when old world/more old fashioned Italian brides brought a 'wedding purse' to the wedding for the envelopes. It's since been adopted (sans purse) by this area. Anyway, there is no open soliciation for funds, but envelopes with cash/check are welcomed with open hands! *grin* win |
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Post#20 @
01-19-04
, 05:15 AM
WOW! I cannot believe somebody actually did that. If she can't afford a big wedding she should plan one. |
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Post#21 @
01-19-04
, 06:44 AM
How tacky!! Seems the couple cares more for money than they do the psople. At $330.00 a couple, I wonder how many people will actually attend the wedding!!! |
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Post#22 @
01-19-04
, 09:30 AM
Those are friends I want. I wouldn't even respond/RSVP. I'd wait and allow the bride to call and ask if I was going. Then I'd feel her out to see whether she really wants me to attend as a friend or if she see's dollar signs in my eyes. Then I'd hand her a gift which would be two brown paper bags for her parents to wear at the wedding. Freaks. |
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Post#23 @
01-22-04
, 05:36 AM
hehe that is too funny!! I have never heard of any of those customs actually, although envelopes filled with money sounds good! Where I live, many couples use a wedding list made up at one store where all the guests can come and pick items of their chosen value off the list. Thing is, if all the gifts in your price range are gone, you have to choose something else instead and 'bite the bullet'...I have to say, even if it is custom around here, I still find it a bit weird! Surely a 'gift' should just be what ever the giver wants it to be -given out of choice?! pip xxx |
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Post#24 @
01-31-04
, 06:33 AM
Omg...that's so absurd and rude! At our wedding, we did the gift registry thing. Mainly because we didn't want 2 toasters, 2 kettles, etc and we wanted to cordinate our homeware to match our house etc. I don't know if any of you know about Chinese customs? It's traditional for family and friends to give red envelopes 'lucky money' to the bride & groom. With most chinese weddings you normally end up breaking even or make a small profit. It's intended to help the married couple start their new life together. We don't mind what presents/money we receive...we are just glad that all the people we love can share with us the happiest day in our lives. Our best man and bridesmaid (they are a couple) gave us a vase for our wedding. Now it's their turn to wed and she told me in confidence that she would prefer money instead of presents. Now I feel obligated to give her money. She knew that I preferred money but she still gave me a cheap vase...I don't know....maybe it's because they didn't have much money at the time. Also we paid for all the bridesmaid dresses and the groomsmen suit hire but for their wedding they've asked all the bridal party to pay for their own clothes. Maybe it's nothing and i'm just paranoid....my husband's fine with everything. Maybe we're just too nice! |
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Well most people here in Oz have a gift registry, but my cousin got married recently and did something which I thought was a bit unique... He and his girlfriend have been living together for years, and so they already have everything they want for their household. When we received the invites to their wedding, it came with a card for their travel agent and a nice note to say presents were not neccessary, but if we wanted we could contribute to their honeymoon. At first I was a bit taken aback as it seems like a request for money, but the more I think about it the more I like it! These days, so many couples live together for a long time before getting married... what's the point of accumulating more casserole dishes to sit in a cupboard!! Actually while they're on the subject, I'd be interested to hear from anyone who has been to a wedding where one of the couple was Chinese and the other Western? My friends are trying to plan their ceremony and they are trying to find a balance between the two traditions. (eg do they send out red envelopes only to their Chinese friends or to both Western and Chinese friends) Ali |
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