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Old belladex
 
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Quote this post and reply to it Post#1 @ 01-05-04 , 12:14 PM


What is the typical cash wedding gift for the northeast? The bride is the daughter of a good friend.

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Old Bella
 
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Quote this post and reply to it Post#2 @ 01-07-04 , 04:31 PM


Dont base it on their expenses.

I would say typically $100 friends
$200 family

Anymore than that and I would feel uncomfortable unless you were my direct parent or Godparent.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#3 @ 01-08-04 , 11:24 AM


I think the rule of thumb is to cover the expense of your plate... Meaning if the couple is spending about $125 per plate, you and your date should give $250.00 gift... JMHO

LET ME ELABORATE:
If you are worried about making a mistake on a cash gift for a wedding, do some research on the reception hall... Find the site's webpage, view a sample menu, some webpages even list prices for weddings.... I'm a GOOGLE freak, so that would be my first suggestion...

NYC weddings can cost anywhere from $100-$250 a plate, Long Island weddings can range from $60-$200... Same with Jersey I think....

All in all, if you stick with a cash gift between $200-$300 I think you'll be fine... That's no chump change!

Last edited by soon2bngaged : 01-08-04 at 11:45 AM.
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Quote this post and reply to it Post#4 @ 01-08-04 , 12:00 PM


WOW - IMHO I think that is overkill. I don't choose the menu someone has decided upon at their wedding and they shouldn't expect people to to pay for their own expenses . Any gift a bride and groom receive for the wedding is just that a gift and should not be expected.

When I was married any money that was received was great, but came no where near what was paid out and that was ok as thats not why we had the wedding. We didn't go into it thinking we were going to make money or break even. We wanted a certain wedding, wanted certain people to join us for our wonderful day and any gifts received were just icing on the cake sorta speak but never expected.

Give what you can or want.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#5 @ 01-08-04 , 12:22 PM


Please don't use that absurd plate-cost thing!

I'm from the South, but I live in Boston. I was horrified that people were trying to cajole me into telling them how much I spent on their dinner so that they could gauge the amount of the gift to give.

I certainly appreciate the gifts we received, but I don't like that method of deciding what to give. If I want to spend a ton on the reception food, I don't want anyone feeling obligated to give a gift in the same amount.

What does your gut tell you is the right amount for you to give?

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#6 @ 01-08-04 , 02:20 PM


I agree A LOT! according to this rule of thumb if I had a brunch buffet in my backyard w/ no booze and fancy decorations would you feel comfortable giving the bride and groom $16 to cover the cost? And if your spoiled rich niece insited upon having an all inclusive wedding at the swankiest country club in the State, would you then feel good about being obligated to cover the $200 per head cost?

Give what you noramlly give. As an adult you have already attended a hundred occasions and know what you are comfortable offering.

I was married six months ago, when we opened envelopes that had an amount of money that seemed like a real lot, we cringed and felt bad and wished those people didn't give as much as they did.

Its a gift to express your well wishes and hopefully add to the future nest egg. Not to pay for the wedding.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#7 @ 01-13-04 , 07:28 PM


Brides should not expect to get any money gifts (aside from parents/in-laws), nor should they outline a budget based upon that concept. Just because someone is a good friend of the family does not mean that person has to give cash!

In my opinon, the per plate cost is not reasonable nor is it reliable. It's nearly impossible to tell what the meal really cost without actually asking (which is very tacky). The per head cost is greater than the per plate cost and I don't see how either could ever be an expected "gift" of cash!

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#8 @ 01-26-04 , 03:56 PM


How much money would you spend if you were to buy a gift? What's your budget? There's no right or wrong - at the end of the day, it's a gift.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#9 @ 01-26-04 , 04:07 PM


Wow - when I was married it never even occurred to me to be concerned about cash gifts. Maybe it's a geographic thing - as we were married in Idaho. That being said - any money recieved we were grateful for - but I never once thought of it as recouping my losses on the reception.

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Quote this post and reply to it Post#10 @ 04-23-04 , 05:39 AM


An old friend of mine is getting married this summer. In our recent phone conversation talking about bride stuff (I'll have my wedding next year) she came right out and said that she and her fiance didn't register and to "just give (her) money"! I thought she was joking but she was dead serious. I thought it was quite tacky and maybe there were reasons for our drifting apart after all... Especially knowing full well that I'm currently unemployed and looking for a job!

Quote:
Originally posted by festivities
Brides should not expect to get any money gifts (aside from parents/in-laws), nor should they outline a budget based upon that concept. Just because someone is a good friend of the family does not mean that person has to give cash!

In my opinon, the per plate cost is not reasonable nor is it reliable. It's nearly impossible to tell what the meal really cost without actually asking (which is very tacky). The per head cost is greater than the per plate cost and I don't see how either could ever be an expected "gift" of cash!


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Quote this post and reply to it Post#11 @ 04-23-04 , 09:46 AM


Call me old-fashioned, i give what my heart and budget tell me to.
I prefer to buy gifts, because i take the time shop, select, and wrap the gift, fun for me, and i can't imagine the bride doesn't have fun opening the presents.

I just found out last night my one niece is getting married on the beach at sunset in June, and i can't wait to shop for a wonderful gift for her...i hope i can attend the wedding.

mars


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