my fiance and i are getting married in oct/04 and really don't want showers or registries. we are in our mid 30's and have ENOUGH stuff. With all the expenses of the wedding we are short on funds for a honeymoon and were thinking in leu of the shower gift and gift registry we would ask for $ to be contributed to the honeymoon. is this rude? how do we do this properly as not to offend anyone? not sure what to do....
Well, what you DON'T do is have it printed anywhere and mailed to people... I think the best way would be to tell your maid of honor and best man, and perhaps the mothers, and let them handle it. But no matter what you do, I'm pretty sure you WILL get some gifts. See if you can think of a place that you might like a few things from and check with them to see if they take return-for-cash bridal gifts if you register. I think most of them are exchange, but it's worth a shot.
I have a friend who had it printed in the reception cards 'in lieu of gifts, a wishing well will be available' (my dad had to come ask me what a wishing well was; I told him it's for people that want to give money as gifts, and he was like 'Cool! I can do that!'. But I'm not real hot on the idea of printing where you are registered or requesting cash gifts - in my opinion, that's for the bridal attendants to handle.
We were in the exact same boat. When we got married, we were already merging two complete households and really did NOT NEED anything else and preferred cash.
I completely agree with GemGoddess - - whatever you do; do not print it on anything! Spread the word with your families and the wedding party. Everyone tends to ask them where you are registered (especially if nothing is printed on the invitation) and they can tactifully tell your guests that you are wanting cash for your honeymoon and/or savings.
They are several banks that will now setup a wedding registry account... guests can deposit money into this account (I think the amount deposited is kept confidential) and it is a savings account setup for the newly married couple!
Have you seen http://www.thebigday.com/ where you set up a honeymoon registry? And people can choose to pay for specific parts of your honeymoon? They have sample registries on there that you could take a look at and get some ideas.
I believe the HUD or FHA also has some kind of program where people can add funds to a house registry to help couples with buying a house.
Actually, I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. Getting married in October 04 and not needing all the houseware gifts. Instead, goto www.thebigday.com and you can registry your honeymoon. Your guest would actually be giving you your honeymoon as a gift. They can purchase mileage, activities, meals, etc. Just navigate through this site and I'm sure you won't be disappointed. It's a way to get the money for you honeymoon without asking for cash directly. Hope everything works out. Good Luck.