I realize this thread has switched topics from "romantic proposals" to "how long should you wait for one!"
Anyway, since so many of you have more experience than I do, and you all seem very level-headed and sensible, I have a question for you.
I honestly think that a man pretty much knows whether he'd ever marry you within 2-3 years of dating. He may want to wait longer because of particular circumstances, e.g. finishing school, getting settled in a career, etc., but I think he's got his mind made up as to whether YOU are the one within that 2-3 year period. Any thoughts? Thanks so much.
Originally posted by princesjournier I'm so sorry to read about your disappointment. Some guys just don't get it in the romance department.
I had an even drearier proposal AND wedding. I don't know where you get your patience from (waiting 9 years!), but after 2 years, I gave my bf an ultimatum - marry me or leave. This lead to the worst proposal in history - I was crying when he finally "gave in," and the most unromantic wedding (he treated it like a camping trip, refusing to make a list or send out invites, but would invite buddies over beers without checking with me first).
A year into the marriage, he lists "marrying me" as one of the comprises he's made in the relationship. The "D" word is looming in my mind!!
Girl, my advice to you is to break up and start over. If you continue, you're in for a lifetime of no romance, and it only gets worse after the "forced marriage."
Wish I was nearby to give you a hug. All the best,
princesjournier, If you don't mind me asking: Are you still married to this person? Has it gotten any better? I can feel your frustration. I wish you much happiness!!!!!!
My DH talked about marrige from practically the beginning of our relationship. We just clicked so well and it was almost a non issue that we would get married. I am so lucky, but I guess I deserved it after dating a loser for six years.
Also, my sis and her husband dated through out high school and even stayed together after going to seperate colleges. He always told her he would propose and they would get married after he graduated. He bought her a ring a year ahead of schedual, and they are happily married. So in my experience I can say yes, these guys knew.
Thanks for asking. We're still together (1 year and 1 month now). He's gotten a bit better e.g. he gets me birthday and Christmas gifts now, and he's learnt that Tiffany's is always a good choice!!
Also, I know to remind him of upcoming dates (e.g. the anniversay, so he won't forget) and when I want an evening with just the two of us, I ask for it. He doesn't think of doing these things on his own, but he makes something of an effort when asked.
Not all guys are romantic and I knew all this when I married him. (Sigh )
As one who is a romantic guy...I do think it's unfortunate. Guys are really confused you know. All this equality talk sometimes makes men think women want to be treated just like we treat other guys. But in fact, many if not most women really do like a little romance. I planned a spectacular day around my proposal--one I might talk about later. It makes me happy, and her ecstatic, to do that. And after all, making her happy is one of my greatest goals in life.
Originally posted by tajjyarden The bible never says "don't judge". It just says that we will be judged in the same way that we judge others. "judge not lest ye be judged". I know by what standards God will judge me and every other person
Um, it says "judge not" meaning dont judge, "lest ye be judged" meaning or else you will also be judged. It doesnt say youll be judged exactly as you judge others (although that seems fair in some cases like yours for example).
Anyways, it DOES tell you not to judge unless you want the consequences.
In addition your wrote that you know the standards by which ever person will be judged (and Im assumeing you were refering to them being judged by the way they judge others). In which case that means you would be harshly judged if you lived with a bedmate, BUT the person who does not judge others who do that will not be judged for doing the same act.
So it seems you have it hard coming your way and those who do not judge so harsh will not be judged so harshly.