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| HOME : FORUM : COMMUNITY : Wedding Talk : About Weddings : Can U Top This? |
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Post#26 @
02-05-04
, 09:32 AM
Ali-- About balancing culture. I think it's great to share both traditions with each of the cultures being married. That way, everyone gets an education about another set of culture traditions that they may not be exposed to otherwise. I would handle it by explaining those things that are different. I know there are cultures where $$$$ gifts are the tradition at weddings but here in the US it's considered TACKY to ask for money in your wedding invitation. As i see it, when couples in the USA say "no present" guests *usuallY* bring something, even a nice bottle of wine. I love the idea of sharing cultural traditions; i know some folks feel it's cultural appropriation w/o sufficient thought to the origin. But my dear old dad the engineer used to say "we're going to all end up tan anyway" referring to how folks intermarry among groups. I think Indian weddings are beautiful, I love the way Middle Eastern women get showered in gold for their weddings (though not *why* they get showered...)I love the tradition of Mehndi, so many cool and different traditions! mars mannix |
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Post#27 @
02-05-04
, 01:31 PM
So I gotta ask--WHY do Middle Eastern women get showered in gold? mag |
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Post#28 @
02-05-04
, 07:43 PM
Mars - Thanks for your comments! I love the idea of sharing traditions - and it's more interesting for the guests who have only ever been to western weddings. I'm trying to convince her that she needs to provide a booklet or have someone explain the traditions so that everyone can understand  When I was 15 my uncle married a lady in Thailand. My family went over for the Bhuddist ceremony that was in her home town and it was unbelievable! The whole family arrived carrying traditional gifts outside her home at sunrise and we had to bribe our way into the compound! The groom has to give a bride price and a ton of jewellery to her parents which they inspect and if they like it they bring out their daughter and the wedding is on. I got to carry the jewellery and OMG it was amazing! A huge heavy gold necklace, bracelet and a few other bits. The bride wore at least 5 different dresses over the course of the wedding and they were all stunning. The ceremony went for 3 days but I think they cut it down some and the last ceremony is where the elders of the family take the couple into their bedroom and make the bed and leave them there. Apparently they are not allowed to come out for two weeks except for bathing etc..I loved every minute of it! ooops this is a long post I'd like to know why Middle Eastern women get showered in Gold too? Ali |
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Post#29 @
02-06-04
, 10:12 AM
My understanding of it (from a Persian, a Palestinian ,and an American Muslim) is that the gold serves as the woman's dowry. she needs it because if she is ever divorced, she then has the gold and jewels to sell. i don't intend this to be a commentary on the lega status of women in the Middle East--many cultural customs reflect the "past". That's all I know about it. mars mannix |
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Post#30 @
02-07-04
, 09:32 AM
Hi Ali I've been to a few asian/western weddings. Regarding the 'red envelope'...it's only an invitation and can be sent out to all guests. Traditionally, Chinese send out red wedding invitations but nowadays chines don't follow every single tradition. For instance, in Chinese weddings the groom's family pays for the whole wedding including the dowry. But a lot of young couples nowadays pay for the wedding themselves and girl's don't want a dowry. The most important aspect of chinese tradition to uphold is the 'tea ceremony'. This is meaningful to the elders and is respectful. It is usually a private family affair in the parents home. The rest of the day can be western styled or Chinese. Your friend 'the chinese one' needs to find out what traditions the parents want to uphold and what they can do without. Generally, it's the tea ceremony and choosing an auspicious day. Tell your friends that it's impossible to please everyone. What's most important is that they should do what they want because it's their special day. |
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I love this Dear Abby. My boss actually cut it out of the paper for me as a joke. Can I top it? Let's see, I know a couple who decided to get married in Vegas during Thanksgiving weekend. They got really pissed off when everyone (except for a few close relatives) declined to come. Brooke, the bride, would not listen to reason about it. She couldn't see why anyone would not want to spend money to fly out to Vegas and rent a room in Vegas for the weekend, just weeks before Christmas. I could have gone, I live in San Francisco which is a short flight or drive away, and I have a really good friend in Vegas that I could have stayed with. I did not go because I did not like her attitude (we weren't close friends anyway), instead I drove down to San Diego and spent turkey day with my family, people who don't ask me to turn my pockets inside out for them. They got married, but from what I understand she was miserably unhappy about the turn out. |
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