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Quote this post and reply to it Post#76 @ 06-02-04 , 01:13 PM


Just the other day I was pissed at my fiance, he was cooking dinner and he asked if I wanted butter on my corn... I dont know why but I said "dont touch my corn" in the worst voice you could imagine. He repeted what I said and told me my corn was in the garbage; to go get it and went upstairs. My corn was on the table but I realized I upset him by lashing out and we talked things through. By the way, this is the only fight we've been in

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Re: Worst thing after a fight
Quote this post and reply to it Post#77 @ 08-10-09 , 04:56 AM


Hi All,
How to Walk Away from a Fight

Walking away can be difficult, but when it comes to fights, it can save you a lot of trouble. When tensions run high, here's what to do.

1. Keep your distance from the person that wants to fight you.
2. Talk to the person about why he/she wants to fight you, and tell him/her how you feel.
3. Back away from the troublemaker.
4. Try to ignore any negative things he/she might have to say about you or your mother (or, in very extreme cases, your grandmother) as you're walking away.
5. Don't escalate the argument. The important thing is avoiding a fight, not arguing petty points about the disagreement you two have. Don't insult your opponent or become angry with them, but just be calm and try to convince them that a fight is a bad idea. If necessary, agree with them about whatever it is that's instigating the fight, even if you're in the right.
6. Avoid getting into situations that threaten fights. Keep an eye out for danger signs, like high tension, the presence of alcohol, a late night, or somebody who is upset over something else already, and stay away. Attempt to defuse the situation as soon as it arises.
7. When all else fails, remember that there is no shame in running away -- you did your best. After all, the alternative could be much worse: You could die, get crippled, or end up in jail. Remember what's important.
8. When trying to avoid a fight keep eye contact and also try to keep an eye on the hands. Discuss the problem and apologize for anything you have caused, even if you're right.


Tips

* While attempting to defuse the situation, it is important to keep your hands in a defensible yet non-aggressive position, ie. ready to block sucker punches to your face/body, but not in a "fighting stance." Use i) the "prayer position" with both palms pressed together, which looks non-threatening, but keeps your hands up near your face; ii) the "stay back" position, hands facing your aggressor palms outward; iii) the "I'm thinking" position, with a hand on your chin/head. Remember, try to seem natural while you do this. Keep protected at all times.
* Some people are scared and don't want to confront their opponent, but you should never assume your opponent won't fight.
* Do not take the moral high ground in your attempts to defuse the situation. For example, saying something like "I've got better things to do than fight on the streets" or "fighting is so childish" can cause your aggressor to go out of his way to prove you wrong. It's just another way to try to "win" the fight by making yourself seem better; your objective is not to win: it's to not be a part of the fight whatsoever.
* For people unfamiliar with adrenaline bursts, walking away can be nearly impossible. People who get their adrenaline pumping regularly in a peaceful manner have more control of themselves in a stressful situation. Regardless, try to keep a level and clear head.
* If you are in a car or vehicle, lock the doors and refuse to come out. Drive away if possible.
* Be careful when and if you do try to walk away. If the other person is very angry, they may simply attack you from behind. When walking away face the person who is causing your trouble as to prevent them from attacking you from behind while walking away. Also to make sure to glance back every bit to check for potential escape routes. Do not turn you head as you look back.
* In a truly dangerous situation, the most important thing is to leave your ego aside. Tell him what he wants to hear. He/She wants their ego gratified, and if you can do that without taking a beating so much the better. Think of the people who are important to you, and swallow your pride.


Warnings

* In some situations, the person might say something provocative. But again, be the better person and ignore it.
* Sometimes the person that wants to fight you is looking for it and will hit you anyway. Your best option is always walking away, but if the person is a threat to you, and backing off isn't an option, you must defend yourself. Usually the first hit can be the strongest and can also catch the person off guard. A follow up can quickly end the fight if it is well timed and delivered.
* Of course, if there's authority around you, don't hesitate to alert them.
* Fighting is not a game and should not be used to resolve petty conflicts. Serious legal as well as physical consequences may result. The worst thing that could happen in a fight is that someone may end up dead. There are no rules or referees on the street and the person who ends up dead could be you.
* Always keep in mind that there is no shame in turning down a fight. If you are around people, this is no different. People calling you yellow is not something to make you have to fight. Remember that it is what you think of yourself when a fight is about to start and when you turn it down that is important. Besides, there is more maturity in turning down a fight, and remember: "War does not make one strong".
* When walking away, do not turn your back on the enemy. That makes it too easy to get jumped. Walk away to the side at an angle and keep them in your site or head towards a crowd. Be mindful of obstacles because if you fall you can get jumped.

Best Regards..........


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