Originally posted by hammy I know many people were virgins when they were young (21-23), but at age 28?
I certainly don't think it is the norm. But, I'm not going to pass judgement on whether it is *abnormal*.
Also, you mentioned they were younger when they first started to date. Perhaps it is a promise they made to one another.
O.K. - I hate to get specific - but are we defining "sex" as the actual act of inter.....? People can be "intimate" on different levels. They maybe have this forplay thing to an art level.
Given a women at 28 who is a virgin & a 12 year old having sex - well - the 12 year old is in no position to be mature enough to understand sex & all that goes with it. Unfortunately, there may be more 12 years old sexually active girls than 28 year old virgins.
Okay, I'm not going to beat this horse to the death. I just want to clarify that I'm not judging what my girlfriend does (or doesn't) in terms of sex life. I probably already had my answer that it is NOT the norm not having sex (inter.course) at her age and having been in a relationship for so long. I'm just not sure that it's healthy, physically and relationship-wise. But as long as she and her SO is happy, then fine. I just hope she doesn't have any intimacy or emotional issues to deal with.
let me state for the record i'm not a virgin myself, i've only ever had one partner (the one i'm almost engaged to) and he has only ever had me...
anyway, i don't frown upon people who wait til the right person or til marriage, it's their choice, and besides, they can't crave what they've never had... and even if they haven't had intercourse, they may have done everything but...
i personally don't know any of my coupled friends who are waiting til marriage to have sex, i think we've done it by now (at least the friends i'm close with) and we are still only young at 22.
I have a friend who waited until marriage for religious reasons and she was 27 when she married. I don't know about her husband - I never asked. She's been married over 25 years, has two kids and they are a very close, stable and happy couple. Everyone goes to her for advice and help - she's just one of those people who seems to be a shoulder to cry on. She doesn't push her religious views when she gives advice either. I can't believe that waiting has done her or her relationship any harm at all.
I think that for some people it's right to wait and for others it's wrong. I don't think you can make sweeping generalisations on this subject. The advice I gave my daughter was that it was up to her when she felt the time was right, but I hoped that it would be with someone that she loved and respected and who loved and respected her.
I am 19, engaged, and I have never had sex... I am like... one of the only ones I know around here. Trust me, it is not that we have some kind of problem... we are normal, trust me. It is like... not easy. I think if it were easy, then that is when it would be a problem. I just thought that I would say that ole girl up there isn't the only one! Love-Selena
I'm new to the site, sort of wandered in from looking at diamond info. Figured I'd post my 2 bits.
I'm 24, a virgin, not engaged yet (but that's only a matter of time). My gf and I are planning to get married next summer (unless we can rationalize getting married earlier (she still has a year of school)). She's 20, so I want to give her time to make sure she's ready. And I still want to make sure I'm ready. We've only been dating 10 months, but started the relationship with marriage as our goal.
I also echo selenarene's comment, its definately not easy. Probably the hardest thing I will do at this stage of life will be waiting until we are married. Staying sexually pure. We are very committed to that for religious reasons.
There may be more of us out there than you know, but we are definitely a minority. Also probably less willing to talk about it, cuz its so personal.